The set of the first scene is a typical American office in the 50's. On the right side we see two windows which are offering a look outside. Next to the windows is the table - not a piece of modern furniture, just functional. An air-conditioner is working in the background and produces a slight bizarre sound. A venus flytrap, standing on the desk is waiting for flies - or visitors. The colors of this room are pleasant - the visitor should now that he's welcome. The walls are empty except some photographs hanging between the two windows. The photos show a weird way to fire workers: We see African lions that have just eaten a worker.
[ The sound of the air-conditioning engine is still continueing. Reginald Harrows, only know as 'The great grey eminence' is sitting at the desk, making some notices. As he looks interestingly at one of these papers which could make his wife furious, someone knocks at the door. Mr. Harrows, who knows that this magazine could endanger his career throws it out of the windows. ]
MR.HARROWS [ loud ] : Enter!
[ The doctor enters. He is a good-looking men in his middle thirties, likes a good tie, is a passionate coffee-drinker and has some missing teeth from his short box career. ]
DOCTOR: You gave me the honour of an audience, sir.
MR.HARROWS [ a bit amused ]: Yes, I do. Cukrowicz, sit down.
DOCTOR: Yes, sir. [ he sits down, avoiding to look into the face of his boss ]
MR.HARROWS: Well, well... I am afraid to tell you that things are not getting so well as we hoped...
DOCTOR: Something's wrong with me?
MR.HARROWS: No, no, you are our greatest brain surgeon - in fact the only one. You are one of the best brain surgeons of the States and we would be fools if we let you go! But there's a problem that we have to talk about and it is a serious problem which has effects on our future work.
DOCTOR: Sir, what can we do?
MR.HARROWS: I have tried to tell that god-damned people from the
authorities to support our work
here at Lion's view - otherwise I will tell the public what is really going on
at our authorities,
I said. And what did they reply? They just looked at me like I was an old idiot
who is still
living in the old days. As I got a little bit angrier one of the men said:
"Have you already made
experiences with the IRS?" ... and he picked up the phone, still looking
at me. I suddenly felt that
it would be the best to leave the building as fast as I can.
I can't do anything for this hospital, Cukrowicz. Two million dollars are missing and I can't imagine that we find a company which supports brain surgeons! So it's all up to you to save 'Lion's view'.
[ While Mr. Harrows continues to talk about the doctor's task, Cukrowicz is imagining himself as a super-hero wearing a red-blue-white dress and a big 'C' on his chest. The people on the streets want to praise their hero but their problem is that they are not able to spell his name, so all they say is: "Hail, Super-Cru... Cook..., Cuc..." The crowd, disappointed by their incapacity to spell his name switched to another super-hero, dressed like Super-Cukrowicz, and praised him: "Super-Man, Super-Man..." Super-Man looked at Super-Cukrowicz and says contemptuous: "He, he, he - loser!" Cukrowicz awakes from this daydream. ]
Cukrowicz? Are you o.k.?
DOCTOR [ confused ]: Yes, sir... I've just... lost attention. Please excuse me.
MR.HARROWS: Cukrowicz, should I remind you of the three doctors? You see that photos on the wall? [ Cukrowicz stares at the wall, he doesn't feel very comfortable ]
DOCTOR: Please don't send me to a Safari, sir.
MR.HARROWS: I won't do it. To be honest I need you, doctor. I received a phone call by Mrs. Vegetable and she needs you - and our little hospital. She lives alone in a great mansion here in Chicago and is very rich. We discussed about your work here and I promised that you are the most qualified brain surgeon at the east coast. It is very difficult to convince an old rich lady who had seen a lot of betrayers so she want to discuss with you from face to face.
DOCTOR: She should know that we only operate volunteers, mad people and criminals.
MR.HARROWS: This is not the time to be fastidious, Cukrowicz. We need money - and we need it quick.
DOCTOR: I have to tell her about the great risks of the operation.
MR.HARROWS [ angry ]: Well, tell her, tell her... but you will lose your job if we lose her!
[ The doctor is unable to answer ]
[ tries to be a bit more friendly ] The meeting is tomorrow, 5 p.m. . Remember that forty people are working here - and you are their only chance.
DOCTOR: May I leave?
MR.HARROWS: Go, go... and don't dare to come back until you have her promise to support Lion's View.
DOCTOR: Thank you, sir. [ he leaves the room and closes the door ]
Oh, I hate him!
[ As he walks down the floor, two sisters and a man in a red-blue-white dress are going along with him. The man attracts the doctor's attention. ]
Who is this patient?
SISTER: He says he is "Super-Man", he tried to climb up the Empire State Building as we catched him.
MAN [ mad ]: I am coming from Krypton to save you - believe me, believe me!
SISTER: What should we do with him?
DOCTOR [ quiet, thinking of his day-dream ] : Loser...
2ND SISTER: I beg your pardon?
DOCTOR [ awakes from his thoughts ]: Put
him in the smallest single cell you've got and don't let him
out for the next 48 hours. This will give him time to think about many things!
[ The sisters look at each other with astonishment but then they follow his order. The doctor is a bit happier now. ]
Nobody calls me a loser!
[ Mr. Cukrowicz is waiting in the entrance hall of Mrs. Vegetables house. He holds a glass of Gin Tonic and neither think of anything nor looking at anything. ]
[ Simon, the butler, enters ]
SIMON: Mr. Cu- Co-, the lady is now pleased to see you. Would you please follow me?
[ The doctor follows Simon who is going through a golden door that leads to the veranda of Mrs Vegetable's mansion. ]
SIMON: She will come down in just a minute. Would you then excuse me, Sir?
[ The doctor makes a gesture saying that he can go ]
[ He is looking at some pictures and boards on the wall. The doctor finds a book of fairy-tales. ]
DOCTOR [ reads ] : Turtles... Turtles...
Turtles... Sea Turtles... Sand... Sea Turtles... Sun... Birds... Birds...
Birds... Sea Birds... Aaarghhh!... Turtles... Birds...
[ he closes the book ] What a piece of crap! [ he looks at the cover ] Sebastian V., "Summer dreams".
[ The big door opens and Mrs. Vegetable walks upon a red carpet that is moving forward with every step she makes. She is dressed like a high-society lady in a lavender suit made in France. Her make-up should cover that she is very old. Her hair is tinted in light orange which looks like a contrast to her real age. Mrs. Vegetable is weak and has problems to stand on her own two feets. The doctor, dressed in a thousand dollar suit and shoes for ten dollars looks impressed at the lady. He doesn't notice that he is staring at her. ]
MRS.VEGETABLE: You can close your mouth, doctor.
DOCTOR [ a bit dizzy ]: Sorry, Mrs.
MRS.VEGETABLE: Well, we can't talk here. Would you be so kind to lead me to the garden.
DOCTOR: The garden?
MRS.VEGETABLE: We go up the floor then turn right, go fifty meters forwards, then turn left and go until we reach the piranha aquarium, walk down the stairs and there is the garden.
DOCTOR [ didn't understand a single word ]: Ah, yes.
[ Three hours later, the doctor and Mrs. Vegetable found the garden. Before the doctor opened the door to the garden, they hear cries of flesh-eating birds and wolves. The loud jungle atmosphere subsides into total quietness as they enter. They sit down, the doctor is irritated by yellow eyes which seem to belong to a very hungry creature. ]
MRS.VEGETABLE: Yes, this was Sebastian's garden. You will find the latin names of all animals and plants printed on tags around here. There are some very rare and bizarre plants that my son collected from his journeys. [ She takes a deep breath ] Look at this plant - [ she point to a plant which stands on a roman pillar ] do you know what this is, doctor?
DOCTOR: It looks like an insecrivorous plant.
MRS.VEGETABLE: It is. But rumours say that it also eats animals and even - human beings. I can't say whether it is true or not but one day I tried to call my butler - he didn't answer. I found the shoes of him before the pillar. [ She draws breath. ] I already feel I can lean on your shoulder Dr. Cuckoo?
DOCTOR: Cu-kro-wicz. It' s a Polish name that means sugar, so just call me Doctor Sugar. [ He smiles ]
MRS.VEGETABLE: Well, Doctor - Sugar, this garden was Sebastian's work. He spent dozens of days planting trees and creating this wonderful scenery! Every detail was planned - he even knew the steps of the lions which are living in the garden. [ She suddenly stares at the doctor ]
DOCTOR: What are you looking at?
MRS.VEGETABLE: Don't move, Doctor Sugar, don't move.
[ Mrs. Vegetable takes a revolver that is laying on the carpet. She fires at the spider which sits on the head of the doctor. ]
Mrs, Mrs. Vegetable, you could have killed me!
MRS.VEGETABLE: There was a poisonous spider on your head. I didn't want to shock you, Doctor, but this spider kills within minutes.
DOCTOR [ feeling uncomfortable ]: Well, er - thank you. Are there any other surprises in this garden?
MRS.VEGETABLE: This garden reflects my son's life - it is full of surprises.
DOCTOR: What a kind of person was your son?
MRS.VEGETABLE: His life was his work and work was his life. Twenty
years ago he started writing
poetry and I discovered his talent - me, the mother, who was the only person he
trusted. I can remember his first poem like it was yesterday: Rabbits... Rabbits... Rabbits...
Blue rabbits... Carrots...
Yellow rabbits... Easter-eggs... Rabbits... Cars... Aaarghhh!... Rabbits...
Isn't that a great poem? He continued writing poetry and made a great development but his "Summer dreams" are still worth looking at. What do you think of poets and poetry?
DOCTOR: I never had enough time to fully appreciate the art of poetry but I do think that poets lead a very hard life.
MRS.VEGETABLE: Yes, they do. And it's a pity. There were not many
people who knew the real Sebastian,
the poet. Only a few people had the honour to read his poems and only I read
all the poems including his best work: "Snakes - A poem of paranoia, diplomacy and five
It starts something like this: "Snake... Tea... The snake is drinking
tea... The diplomat is eaten by
the snake... The snake is alone... I am the snake..." That's what I call
poetry! It takes very long
to find the deeper sense behind these words but then you will see the soul of a
poet. People on
streets may find it bizarre or even stupid but these people are not worth
My son Sebastian felt so, too. He only dealt with the beautiful and rich people that admired him - and me. We were well known in the European society - Venice, Madrid, Paris, Rio de Janeiro.
DOCTOR: Rio de Janeiro? In Europe?
MRS.VEGETABLE: No, no... [ she smiles amused ] But we were also well known in the South America society.
DOCTOR: I see. [ the doctor is taking a notepad out of his suit ]
MRS.VEGETABLE: My son always said that he doesn't want to become famous. But I know that he lied - a poet wants to tell other people what he feels and that's the only purpose he lives for. Now, after his death, it is my task to give him the right reputation. Everyone should say: Ah, Sebastian Vegetable! The one who wrote "Lions" and "Turtles & Sea birds". And the people who criticize him will calm down when the public is only speaking of one name... the name of my son. What are you doing, doctor?
DOCTOR: I am only taking notes. [ he writes: "a bit crazy" ] Please, go on...
MRS.VEGETABLE: And if they don't want stop criticizing him, I will order some of these rare Venus flytraps for each critic. He deserves it, doctor. He really deserves it! Especially his second poem: Bears-
DOCTOR [ interrupts her violently ]: Now we should talk about the girl you want to meet. You think she is responsible for your son's death?
MRS.VEGETABLE: She killed my son! You can see, after she murdered my son she told lies about Sebastian. But Sebastian is not able to say something for his defence because he is dead! This girl has no sense for the honour of a poet. And she had done very bad things to him...
DOCTOR [ fires his cigarette ]: What had she done with him?
MRS.VEGETABLE: I can't say that...
MRS.VEGETABLE: No, no, doctor. It's too terrible. [ tears run down her face ]
DOCTOR: Well, but then there'll be no operation.
DOCTOR [ loud ]: Sex?!
MRS.VEGETABLE: Calm down, doctor! It's not very funny to talk about Sebastian like that. He regretted - he really regretted! She forced him to go into her bed... and... [ she suddenly starts to cry ] He was helpless!
DOCTOR: Mrs. Vegetable, why do you think that your son regretted?
MRS.VEGETABLE: After this - accident, my son became more religious. He didn't belong to a special religion but he started looking for God. As we went to Cairo, he bought several religious requiems on the market: The holy bicycle, a rabbit named St. Robby etc. He tried to speak with the St. Robby and said that he could see God in the face of this rabbit. Sebastian used the bicycle to reach God and drove miles over miles. It took me a long time to convince him that he speaks to an ordinary rabbit - after a month he set the rabbit free and threw the bicycle away. But he kept looking for God.
DOCTOR: Mrs. Vegetable, doctors look for God, too.
DOCTOR: On our yearly four days-trip to central Africa we made experiences with religion. As you know it is very dangerous for us in the wilderness. Hungry lions, snakes and some other animals you won't like if you are dealing with them. One day, my former assistant claimed to found God in the throat of a lion. Sure, we don't know whether he found God or not.
MRS.VEGETABLE: I believe, I believe you! [ She laughs, startled ]
DOCTOR: It was a painful dead. The lion, perhaps bored by the number of tourist who are searching for God in Africa closed his mouth.
MRS.VEGETABLE: What a horrible story!
DOCTOR: Another example was my first operation I performed at Lion's View. The patient was a young girl regarded as hopeless. It was a brain operation and neither I nor my assistants made any practical experiences with the human brain. We opened her skull and saw the human brain which looks more or less like thick noodles. I tried my best to concentrate but suddenly at ten o'clock the charwoman entered. We were interrupted but I didn't make a fault or a cut in the brain. But as reporters of a nation-wide TV station came through the windows, the doors and the walls like an invasion, the silence was over. I made several mistakes and was surprised as I hold some little pieces of her brain. The cameras catched all the pictures and I tried to look as smart as I can.
MRS.VEGETABLE: And that was not end for Lion's View?
DOCTOR: No, but it gave us a great publicity. There were even many fan letters of teenagers who wanted to be operated by the "smart doctor on television".
[ We hear faint music ]
What's that music?
MRS.VEGETABLE: The music should create suspense. My butler thinks that it creates a special atmosphere in conversations.
DOCTOR [ angry ]: I hate that! Turn it off!
[ We hear lively music ]
MRS.VEGETABLE: Now I can tell you that my son was looking for God - for a clear image of him. Like I told you it started rather bizarre and my son looked for many ways and places.
[ Simon enters ]
SIMON: I'm sorry to interrupt you, but there's a phone call for Dr. Cuckoo.
DOCTOR: Who is on the phone?
SIMON: Lion's View, Sir. They say it's an emergency.
DOCTOR: Then I probably have to leave. Mrs. Vegetable, I hope we can continue our discussion at another time.
MRS.VEGETABLE: Tomorrow, same time?
DOCTOR: I will come.
[ St. Mary's. Catherine is sitting at her table, staring outside the window, smoking a cigarette. The sister enters. ]
SISTER [ angry ]: Catherine, you are smoking!
CATHERINE: That's what cigarettes are made for, Sister.
SISTER: Give it to me or I'll make a report!
CATHERINE [ defiant ]: No.
SISTER: You'll pay for your disobedience! I will not accept it like the seventeen sisters before me.
CATHERINE: Ok, ok, take it...
[ She presses the lighted end of the cigarette into the Sister's hand. The Sister cries out. ]
SISTER: I'm burning, I'm burning! You burned me with it!
CATHERINE: I didn't burn you.
SISTER: And what's that?
[ She shows Catherine her hand. ]
CATHERINE: That's a wounded hand.
SISTER: And you are responsible for it!
CATHERINE: No, no, it wasn't me. It was the cigarette.
SISTER: You blame the cigarette for it?
CATHERINE [ happy ]: The penny has dropped!
SISTER: You show disobedience, burned me and dare to say that you are innocent?
CATHERINE: You don't understand, Sister: I didn't burn you really.
SISTER: And what would it look like if you "burn me really"?
CATHERINE: It would look like this -
[ She takes her cigarette lighter which she had hidden in her dress. As she lightens the Sister's dress, the Sister cries out panically. ]
SISTER [ burning ]: I'm burning! I'm burning!
CATHERINE: Right, now you are burning.
[ The Sister runs out of the room, still crying and burning. Catherine, who is very composed lights a second cigarette and looks out of the window. ]
CATHERINE: Sister number 18 finished...
[ In the floor near Catherine's room, Mrs. Holey, the mother of Catherine, and George are walking through the corridor. George is typically good looking in his grey suit - he thinks that he is the only good-looking guy which is reflected in his steps. He is smoking. They see the burning Sister running towards them. ]
SISTER [ desperately ]: Help me, help me!
MRS.HOLEY [ sweetly ]: Gaaawwwgggeeee! Help her, you son-of-a-bitch.
GEORGE: Sure, mum. Hey, sister, can I invite you to a dinner for two?
SISTER: I'm burning! I'm burning!
MRS.HOLEY: She probably doesn't need that sort of help.
GEORGE: Ah, I see. Well, Sister, you should better get to a hospital - you are burning and you really stink!
[ They continue to walk ]
MRS.HOLEY: Sometimes, you can be a real angel, Gawge!
GEORGE: Sure, I am - and in addition I am typically good-looking, smart, elegant and modest.
[ They are knocking at Catherine's door ]
[ Catherine is still staring out of the window, smoking her cigarette ]
CATHERINE: Sister number 19?
MRS.HOLEY: Catherine, dear! Oh, Catherine... [ She embraces Catherine ] Doesn't she look fine, Gawge Pawge?
GEORGE [ condescend ]: At least for her conditions - but I am looking better!
MRS.HOLEY [ sweetly ]: Ah, George! Shut up, you son-of-a-bitch!
CATHERINE: Still calling him son-of-a-bitch?
MRS.HOLEY [ triumphantly ]: Since he was a little baby!
GEORGE: Don't repeat that story again, mother!
MRS.HOLEY [ giving a little laugh ]: She looks amazing doesn't she? Where's the Sister?
CATHERINE [ emotionless ]: She is burning.
MRS.HOLEY [ doesn't take it very seriously ]: ...and we finance those lazy employees with our taxes! She isn't paid for burning, she is paid for having an eye on you! Gawge, please close the door.
[ He does so. ]
CATHERINE: You probable don't want to talk about the Sister, don't you?
GEORGE [ to Catherine ]: Cathie, we need your help! We need your help!
CATHERINE: I need help, too.
GEORGE [ hard ]: Don't be so egoistic, Cathie!
MRS.HOLEY: This is no way to talk to your sister, Gawge.
GEORGE [ imitates her and exaggerates ]: This is no way to talk to your sister, Gawge.
[ He is leaving the room ]
MRS.HOLEY: You must excuse Gawge - he's just, just a son-of-a-bitch.
CATHERINE: I've lived with him for twenty years, mother. I know him - and I know you.
MRS.HOLEY: And I know you, too, my dear! [ she laughs ] So we all seem to know each other like a happy family!
CATHERINE: Where's Aunt Vi?
MRS.HOLEY: She is still living in her house. What a pitty that she isn't able to come here with us but you'll have to meet her soon. [ looks back to the door ] Gawge! Where are you?
[ George comes back ]
GEORGE: She is still burning.
CATHERINE: I told you that this is a cruel hospital.
MRS.HOLEY: What did you do, Gawge? It's oh so quiet!
GEORGE: I explained our situation and told her to shut up. Your Sister is very considerate, Cathie.
MRS.HOLEY: Now, back to the business. You know that Cousin Sebastian wrote in his last will that we will get his property? Well, George inherited one of Sebastian's pens -
GEORGE [ interrupts ]: A cheap one.
MRS.HOLEY: - but everything else is in probate and we don't have enough money to get a good lawyer in order to stop Violet. She is extorting us!
GEORGE: You are our only chance.
MRS.HOLEY: She feels now a bit better - but for how long? We weren't able to meet you because they said you were too disturbed and that a family visit would only cause more pain.
GEORGE: Yes, we were too occupied giving interviews...
MRS.HOLEY [ tries to laugh ]: Gawge, don't make such jokes! I tell you Cathie: no one in the city knows about what you've been through - no one. People often asked us but we replied that you are studying in another country.
GEORGE: She told them that you were studying in Basinstoke near Westfalia, Germany.
MRS.HOLEY: They didn't notice the difference.
GEORGE: ... and then you said I'm a well-known dress-man in New York City at the west coast of the States.
MRS.HOLEY: Nobody disagreed with him.
GEORGE: I'm sick of dealing with people who don't know where the westcoast is! I deserve a better life! [ to Cathie ] Cathie, all you have to do is telling the truth to Aunt Violet. Will you do it? For my sake, for your sake, for the sake of our country and the rest of the world?
CATHERINE: I can't tell anything but the truth.
MRS.HOLEY: But if you tell that horrible story Violet will contest the will of Sebastian. I bet we won't ever see the money because she can keep it in the courts for aeons.
GEORGE: It's so simple - just drop that story and Aunt Vi will be content, I will be content and we can live in luxury for the rest of our lives. You'll get fifty percent and I'll get fifty percent.
[ She laughs wildly. ]
GEORGE: Why do you laugh? Am I not coming through to you?
CATHERINE: Oh you come through - but your talking is so ridiculous, little brother. Even if I agree to tell a different story they will give me an injection that will force me to tell the truth.
MRS.HOLEY: We live in a civilized up-to-date country, Cathie. You have to drop that fantastic story or we will have a public scandal.
CATHERINE: If we live in a civilized country why is the Sister burning?
GEORGE: Because you burned her.
CATHERINE: Then I don't seem to be a civilized person.
GEORGE: You hit the nail on it's head, Cathie. That's exactly what you are - uncivilized, a bitch!
MRS.HOLEY: Gawge, you are the only bitch in this room!
GEORGE: You are perverse - you were always - perverse!
CATHERINE: And you don't look as good as I do, little brother!
[ George turns away and breaks into quiet sobbing ]
MRS.HOLEY: Catherine, Catherine, apologize to him! You know that we need the money - George has ambitions! We have the right to get what Sebastian has left us in his last will, so pleeeease don't let us down? Promise? For your mother?
2ND SISTER [ offstage ]: Miss Catherine, I am your new Sister. I have the order to bring you to Lion's View.
MRS.HOLEY: We better leave now. Cathie, I hope you understand our point of view-
CATHERINE: I understand.
MRS.HOLEY: Fine. We'll come back, soon.
[ They leave the room, the 2nd Sister enters. ]
[ In the corridor. ]
GEORGE: I do look better - or not?
MRS.HOLEY: Sure you do. Please remember that your sister is ill, little Gawge. But you aren't, Pawge-Gawge!
GEORGE: Oh, mama! [ he starts crying ]
2ND SISTER [ screaming ]: I'm burning, I'm burning!
MRS.HOLEY: Those Sisters are very noisy today. I would go mad if I had to life in a hospital like this.
GEORGE: Right you are - ah, should giving up smoking. [ he throws his cigarette away ]
[ In Mr. Harrow's office. Mr. Harrows excited and nervous is talking with Dr. Cukrowicz who isn't looking as smart as the day before. ]
MR.HARROWS: I really don't see where the problem is, Cukrowicz. Cukrowicz!
DOCTOR: I listen, sir.
MR.HARROWS: You dare to say that Mrs. Vegetable, the rich Violet Vegetable might be wrong! She has the money to save us and you come up with your psychological crap you learned in high school. You drive me mad. [ He opens the drawer of his desk ] Oh, I need some pills, I need them... and I need them quick... [ He eats about five little orange pills ]
DOCTOR: You are addicted to pills?
MR.HARROWS: Addicted to vitamin pills, yes. [ calming down ] Are you addicted to something, Cukrowicz?
DOCTOR: I am addicted to musical songs. I am a totally different person if I hear a musical song.
MR.HARROWS: A very strange addition. By the way, St. Mary's burnt down.
MR. HARROWS: We live in hard times, Cukrowicz - very, very tragic but Mrs. Catherine Holey survived so don't care about the others.
DOCTOR: Sir, I have taken notes yesterday and I must say that Mrs. Vegetables seems to be pretty strange.
MR.HARROWS: Could I see your notes?
DOCTOR: Here you are. [ He passes the notes to Mr. Harrows ]
MR.HARROWS: ...Thrusts no one... has no sense for poetry... violent... exaggerating... a bit crazy... psychological illness... moody... mad...
[ To Cukrowicz. ] I guess your notes are fitting for all people, Cukrowicz. Shall we arrest 5 billion human beings?
DOCTOR: But not all 5 billion people want me to operate a brain.
MR.HARROWS [ sceptical ]: What do you want?
DOCTOR: I need more time.
MR.HARROWS: Time is something we haven't got. We brought Mrs. Catherine to Lion's View, examined her and we have prepared the operation room.
[ Meanwhile in Catherine's small room. She finishes her cigarette and moves slowly to the door, opens it and leaves the room. There are some other people in the floor but they don't notice her. She goes towards the floor, slowly and hesitatingly. ]
1ST DOCTOR [ offstage ]: Yes, but I tell you this serpens-in hortum imanum humanum est spirito del vino is one of the strangest symptomes I've ever seen.
2ND DOCTOR [ offstage ]: But if you consider the permansio vexator exactus gallus gaesum you will see that the symptoms are not as strange as they look.
[ Catherine, who is afraid that they might notice her opens the door to another room and enters. ]
CATHERINE: Where am I?
[ She is standing on something like a balcony. There are about fifty mad people staring at her from below - they laugh, smile or speak dirty words. Catherine tries to open the door but it doesn't open. While she tries to escape the mad people are trying to climb up the balcony ]
CATHERINE [ screams ]: No! No!! No!!!
MAD PEOPLE: Mnugblabla, ghuzii...
CATHERINE [ screams ]: Get off! Get off!!
[ Suddenly, the mad people are making a single tone: They are humming and seem to celebrate her. ]
CATHERINE: What are they expecting?
[ The mad people are trying to imitate a well-known melody. ]
CATHERINE: I won't sing!
[ She tries to escape again and the people stop humming and are attempting to reach her. ]
CATHERINE [ desperately ]: I can't escape, it's locked! [ She looks at the mad crowd and thinks for a moment ] Ok, people, I will sing!
[ The mad people are starting their melody. ]
CATHERINE: I hope they will rescue me, soon...
[ The crowd below her is happy. Catherine waits for the right moment to start. ]
CATHERINE [ quiet ]: One...two... One, two, three, four...
[ singing ] I still remember, the days when we were young.
When we laughed in the evening and had so much fun.
You must believe me, all that I've done is for you that is true.
[ They are humming louder; she makes a pause. ]
My ears are closed, my eyes are so cold
and you should remember what I am telling you now.
I still love you, cause you make me feel that I'm not alone -
although you dressed up to the night.
[ They are waiting for the refrain. ]
Don't cry for me, Chicago! [ They are rejoicing ]
The truth is I never left you!
All through my wild days, my mad existence...
I saw your traffic - don't keep the distance.
MAD CHOIR: Don't keep the distance.
CATHERINE: This song is a torture, I can tell that.
[ Somebody tries to break out the door. Catherine doesn't hear the noise. ]
Don't cry for me, Chicago. [ They hum. ]
[ She makes a pause, smiling at the crowd which admires her. ]
Don't cry for me, Chicago... [ They hum again. ]
[ They succeed to break out the door, the doctor sees Catherine singing. ]
DOCTOR [ fascinated ]: Wonderful...
CATHERINE: The truth is I shall not with you,
all through my wild days my mad existence...
[ Doctor goes to Catherine totally fascinated by her outer appearance and her song. ]
DOCTOR [ singing ]: I kept your promise...
[ Catherine notices him she looks at him with a slight smile. ]
CATHERINE & DOCTOR: Don't keep your distance.
[ The mad crowd is making an enormous noise: They clap their hands and some are crying because of this wonderful song. Catherine and the doctor are slowly leaving the room arm in arm. ]
[ In Catherine's private room at Lion's View. The doctor is talking with her. ]
DOCTOR: Now, Catherine, why did you try to kill yourself?
CATHERINE: I know that you have to operate me, doctor. An operation on my - brain.
DOCTOR: How do you know that?
CATHERINE: I saw a picture of you in the press. You were photographed together with a human brain and your cutter.
DOCTOR: Yes, they claimed it was a human brain. But it was only my costume for halloween. Catherine, I've not made my decision, yet.
CATHERINE: I don't want to be operated, doctor.
DOCTOR: Listen, Catherine: I will meet Mrs. Vegetable today and we will discuss your situation. But I think she wants to hear the story from you. You promise not to try to kill yourself again, Catherine?
[ The doctor is in Violet Vegetable's mansion again. Now they are talking in the library of the mansion. Cukrowicz is still humming the melody of 'Don't cry for me, Chicago'. ]
MRS. VEGETABLE: Yes, he was looking for God - we went to many different places to satisfy his wish. It was one of the numerous beaches - we looked for a spectacle that happens every year. There were little sea-turtles who desperately flight to the sea. Everything was in motion and I felt the atmosphere of cold death. Sebastian looked at them, he examined the whole situation carefully for hours and hours.
DOCTOR: The sky was in motion?
MRS. VEGETABLE: There were hundreds - no, thousands of flesh-eating birds who knew exactly that the sea-turtles had to leave the sand. And the birds crying like hounds of hell swooped to attack and hovered - they were eating their flesh while the remaining sea-turtles.
DOCTOR: What happened then?
MRS. VEGETABLE: Suddenly a group of poor people appeared - they were armed with stones and old guns. They attacked the birds and ate their flesh. It was a scenery of death because the people were killing the birds which were killing the turtles. The sand was red of blood and some of the birds attacked the humans and succeeded. Sebastian was fascinated. The story went more dramatic as some wild animals turned up that escaped from a public zoo - they tried to kill the humans, birds and see turtles.
DOCTOR: How long did your son watched this scenery?
MRS. VEGETABLE: He watched it the whole night and the killing didn't stop. As I woke up in the morning he told me: 'Well, now I've seen him!' and I asked: 'Who did you see?'. He answered: 'The postman' I replied: 'Where is he?'
DOCTOR: What did he say?
MRS. VEGETABLE: He said: 'Killed by the birds.'. But he did not say the whole truth. On our way to India he told me that he had seen the face of God.
[ The dramatic music fades in. ]
He believed that he can see the face of God through this cruel event that happened at the beach. As we arrived in Delhi he became very ill and for several weeks he had a fever.
DOCTOR: At which time did you go to India?
MRS. VEGETABLE: It was a long-ago summer... He met a weird religion in the Himalayas and almost entered at a monastery of them. Their only purpose was to run naked though the streets crying: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! - During our vacation I received a cable from my husband: 'Mr. Vegetable critically ill Stop Come back Stop Cable very expensive Stop Please don't stop Stop Stop your visit in India. Stop Cable time of arrival...'
DOCTOR: What did you do?
MRS. VEGETABLE: I stayed with my son in India. I got him through that crisis, took him off the streets and gave him back his clothes. We start a new life and went to all upper class events - we lived in a world of light and everything around could do us no harm. By the way, I thought my husband was only making jokes.
DOCTOR: And was his illness a joke?
MRS. VEGETABLE: It was more or less a joke
although he was really - but not serious - ill. But he died.
I don't know why but he died.
Anyway, we started a new life and became very soon only known as 'Violet and Sebastian' or 'Sebastian and Violet'. We were the light of every party and they invite us to all events. Sebastian looked for people who looked good or were talented. I can understand that because he was young and talented, too.
DOCTOR: Did your son have - let's say: a private life?
MRS. VEGETABLE: Some people made hideous attacks on my son - but I can prove that my son was addicted to me and I protected him from pursuers. I was always the defender and Sebastian was very thankful for that. Because of his chaste character I founded a new party.
DOCTOR: I think I've read about it in the newspaper. Is it the "Sebastian's Moral for America party?
MRS. VEGETABLE: You're right. I will try to give the values of my son to all members of the American society. By the way, our party is very interested in your work.
DOCTOR: Thanks. I heard that you have promised a solution for our financial problem?
MRS. VEGETABLE: If you perform the operation, yes.
DOCTOR: There's a severe risk in my operation.
MRS. VEGETABLE: I know.
DOCTOR: She could die.
MRS. VEGETABLE: I know.
DOCTOR: Perhaps she will be ill or even mad after the operation.
MRS. VEGETABLE: I know.
MRS. VEGETABLE: You named exactly the reasons why you should operate her.
[ mysterious music ]
DOCTOR: I will not operate her under these conditions.
MRS. VEGETABLE: Then you will never operate again, Doctor Sugar.
DOCTOR: I will make my decision tomorrow and neither you nor Mr. Harrows can influence me.
MRS. VEGETABLE: We will see, doctor. We will see. I expect you, Mr. Harrows and the girl at seven o'clock in the garden.
[ She leaves the room. ]
[ Mrs. Vegetable is already sitting on the veranda near the garden. The doctor, Catherine, Mrs. Holey, Mr. Harrows and George are entering. George is a bit jealous because the doctor also looks typically good. ]
MRS. HOLEY: Aunt Vi! How nice to see you!
MRS. VEGETABLE: Shut your mouth or you'll be operated, too. Do any of you want a drink?
GEORGE: I'd like a shaked Gin Tonic.
MR. HARROWS: A strong whiskey with two ice cubes, please.
DOCTOR: A frozen daiquiri.
MRS. HOLEY: A wodka with a piece of orange juice for me, please.
CATHERINE: Just milk.
MRS. VEGETABLE: There aren't any cows here.
MRS. HOLEY: Oh, Cathy is just being Cathy.
MRS. VEGETABLE: What else could she be!
MRS. HOLEY: Gaawwwgeee, tell Aunt Vi how graceful you are for Sebastian's pen.
GEORGE: But I threw it in the trash bin, mother.
MRS. VEGETABLE: And that's why you will never get the property of my son. You would just - throw it away.
GEORGE: I would not waste the money. I have ambitions, I am typically good-looking...
MRS. HOLEY: Gawge, don't talk about the money!
[ Catherine is moving towards the garden. ]
CATHERINE: Strange to see this place again - it doesn't seem real.
DOCTOR: I think we should start.
GEORGE [ aggressive ]: Who is this silly imitation of me?
MRS. VEGETABLE: This is Dr. Cukrowicz. He says that his name means 'sugar' and we can call him Dr. Sugar.
[ George laughs loudly. ]
GEORGE: Sugar, sugar, baby!
DOCTOR [ smiling but then earnest ]: One phone call and my assistants will bring you to the operation room.
MRS. HOLEY: Please excuse him. Gawge is just being Gawge.
MRS. VEGETABLE: We are wasting time. Doctor please start - I want you to perform the operation as soon as possible. So ask your questions to the girl who killed my son. I was the only person who could save him - but she convinced him to travel with her.
CATHERINE: You weren't able to travel. You'd had a -
MRS. VEGETABLE: What had I had? You think that it is too ridiculous to say it in front of other people? She meant that I had a little problem with sea-birds. But there were not ten thousand cruel sea-birds which followed us since our trip to the beach. The sea-birds weren't there - I thought there were some as I discovered that she was trying to take my son away from me. It was just a little - temporary - imagination. These people don't belong to my class they are worthless person who tried to betray my son. I must say that they succeeded but they will not succeed again. I was digusted as I saw the debut of these three people. They made scandalous scenes and the mother of that girl was drunken. Then my son took her with him last winter instead of me...
GEORGE: Well, mother was just being mother. And Sebastian was just being Sebastian...
CATHERINE: I can't change what happened in Cabeza de Lobo!
MRS. VEGETABLE: She made ... with him!
MRS. HOLEY: It's the word with 'D', I think.
MR. HARROWS: I think it's a 'G' word.
MRS. VEGETABLE: The word begins with 'S'.
GEORGE: Surfing? Sonates?
MRS. VEGETABLE: The second letter is an 'E'.
GEORGE [ resigns ]: I give up.
MRS. VEGETABLE: It's sex, you fool!
CATHERINE. I didn't make love to him. He liked me and so I loved him but it was never real sexual.
[ The doctor is taking notes. ]
MRS. VEGETABLE: That's not important because you killed him.
DOCTOR: Please calm down. I think it's time to hear the whole truth.
CATHERINE: What do you want?
DOCTOR: As a doctor, I have to ask you: do you trust me completely?
CATHERINE: I am yours, doctor.
DOCTOR: I will now make an injection which will help you to remember all details of your trip to Cabeza de Lobo.
CATHERINE: All right.
[ He gives her the injection. Spot-light on Catherine and the doctor. ]
CATHERINE: Oh, I already feel a change.
DOCTOR: Please tell me what happened shortly before the winter holiday.
CATHERINE: I went to a ball with a boy and after the ball
he said awful things to me. He talked about other
girls and that he didn't need me - he just, just... used me like a toy. He
drove to another ball and
left me alone at home. I was so angry that I suddenly called a taxi to follow
him. I rushed into the
ballroom and spotted him on the floor and I beat him again and again and again.
part and kicked him, too. Then he took me away. After that, I started to write
my diary in the fourth
person. I knew that a fourth person doesn't exist in the our language but I was
even too desperate
to write in the third person! One morning Sebastian came in and said: 'Get up!
How should I go on?
DOCTOR: Right from the start, please.
CATHERINE: I think it started with God creating the world.
MRS. VEGETABLE: Ha! You see, she's mad!
GEORGE: Little sister.
DOCTOR: Quiet! Catherine, we shall begin with last winter - the last trip of Sebastian.
CATHERINE: Yes, last winter. I thought he loved me because he bought me lots of clothes from the best fashion designers. He took me to Paris and Milan and I had to throw away my old clothes to make room for the ones. I really thought he loved me and I became impatient. Then, suddenly last winter - [ dramatic music ] - he began to be restless - the Red Jay Notebook!
DOCTOR: What is the Red Jay Notebook?
MRS. VEGETABLE: My son used it to take notes for his next poem: "Poem of Winter - special edition" But there's nothing written in it except an "Aaargghhh!".
CATHERINE: I couldn't save him, he began to develop I a strange way and I - I didn't find a way to come through to him.
MRS. VEGETABLE: That's what I said - she killed him.
DOCTOR: Please, no more interruptions. What happened in Cabeza de Lobo.
CATHERINE: He bought me a swimsuit I didn't want to wear. It was a scandal and a danger.
DOCTOR: What did you mean by that?
CATHERINE: The water made it so heavy that you will sink under water. [ She laughs sadly. ] He forced me to go into the water. I sank down and he didn't help me!
DOCTOR: Why did he do that?
CATHERINE: I should attract attention, doctor. The beach was divided into two sections: a free one and a part for the rich people. The poor people who were mainly over 50 years old climbed over the fence and saved me. After that, I left the beach and went back to the hotel. Sebastian was still talking to the people who saved me, I think.
[ Dramatic music ]
DOCTOR: So you were saved. Did Sebastian change his behaviour?
CATHERINE: Yes, he did. He didn't need me any more he had the attraction he wanted. I noticed that he met many of the homeless, old people that had saved me again. Sebastian gave them money as if they were doing something for him. Each day the crowd was bigger and noisier! - Sebastian began to be frightened and stopped going out there.
DOCTOR: And after that? After you quit going out in the public?
CATHERINE: We had lunch at a restaurant near the coast - Sebastian was wearing a white suit - white like an innocent angel. 'We should leave,' he said. 'We've done Cabeza de Lobo, haven't we?' I didn't say a word. In the distance we heard a great crowd, which came closer and closer. There were little children and old men who were playing instruments made of trash. They looked hungry - like dinosaurs hunting for flesh. They were trying to climb over the barbed-wire fence that separates the rich restaurant from the poor rest of the city. They were doing all sorts of things: Gobbling noises, dancing and shouting!
[ dramatic music ]
DOCTOR: Could someone stop that stupid dramatic music?
MRS. VEGETABLE: It's Simon again, you should better let him play - he lost an arm yesterday because of the Venus Flytrap.
DOCTOR: Did you leave the restaurant then?
CATHERINE: Sebastian was frightened. His eyes looked dazed and confused, he said: 'Don't look at them, they are just a social disease. One look at them will make you ill...'
DOCTOR: Go on.
CATHERINE: They were making music for us! Tins, Cans, boxes made of wood... the music drove Sebastian crazy! He was - he was suddenly screaming, his face looked pale.
Can you hear it, doctor? There's the music again - I can hear it!
DOCTOR: Go on, Miss Catherine.
CATHERINE: After the salad and the coffee Sebastian decided that the time was right to flee. He called the waiter and told him to stop the crowd. Ten strong men beat the crowd away and some of them were so injured that they couldn't stand up! Sebastian saw them and said something like 'God'. I didn't understand him, maybe I never knew him! So we left the restaurant... Cabeza de Lobo looked threatening: The sky seemed to be red, the air was hot and there was this noise that came from every direction.! He said: 'Let me handle this situation, I know what to do!' We walked faster and faster but a gang of little children hunted us. He decided to took another street but there were also people who hunted us. They were everywhere! The houses were empty because all the people of Cabeza de Lobo hunted us! We climbed up some stairs in a little street - the crowd was only a few meters away from us. They kept playing their instruments and they were following, following! We reached another street and ran over little sea-turtles who were searching for the right way to the street. And we heard screams as wild animals from the zoo jumped into the crowd and took away some of the people to eat their flesh. I mean - the city was out of control, it was the apocalypse! We were glad, as we had finally made it to the airport.
DOCTOR: Did you escape?
CATHERINE: We thought we could escape. Sebastian took a little airplane that stood near us and he started the engine. We lifted off but then the sky turned black. Thousands of hungry sea birds were attacking our airplane and suddenly at this moment the engines stopped. He desperately tried to land and he succeeded! He became more and more frightened but as we set down it was too late.
DOCTOR: Why was it too late?
CATHERINE: It was too late to escape! The crowd was already there and there was no way out. Sebastian said: 'Run! Run!' and I followed his order, I ran away. He tried to talk to the crowd but they didn't answer. He tried to run but they outran him so quickly. They overtook him on the white little hill - the crowd, the wild animals and the birds! Suddenly he couldn't scream any more. They cut out parts of his body and ate it! I screamed as loud as I could. I couldn't move I was paralyzed.
DOCTOR: Did they hunt you, too?
CATHERINE: They tried to get me but then I awoke and ran, ran, ran! I tried to avoid the birds who attacked me and ran straight to the water together with the sea turtles. As I reached the water, they stopped hunting me.
[ Mrs. Vegetable springs with unbelievable power from her chair trying to strike her with her fist. The Doctor catches her before she can hurt Catherine. ]
MRS. VEGETABLE: Lions' View! Cut this hideous story out of her brain!
[ dramatic music ]
DOCTOR: I won't operate.
MRS. VEGETABLE: You will operate or I will tell the public the truth about Lion's View!
[ dramatic music ]
MR. HARROWS: Oh, my god!
DOCTOR: What should we do?
MR. HARROWS: Lions' View! Cut this hideous story out of MRS.VEGETABLE's brain!
MRS. VEGETABLE: No, no! You won't operate me, you won't!
MR. HARROWS: We have no choice, Mrs. Vegetable! You will operate today at nine o'clock, Cukrowicz.
MRS. HOLEY: Doctor, can't you say something?
DOCTOR [ after a while, into space ]: I think we should consider that the girl's story could be true.
[ The Holeys leave the stage, following the Doctor. Dim out. ]